HOW A SWEDE SEES AMERICA
The following is based on conversations with Anna Anderssen (a pseudonym), a Swedish woman studying in the United States. As with any interview of one person from a different culture than your own it is important to remember that one individual's views may contradict another in extreme ways and as such her thoughts cannot be construed as a definitive explanation of Swedish society. The Swedish society which Anna grew up in is distinguished from American society by the fact that it is European and second by the fact that it is Nordic. This interview focused on the socio-political and underlying cultural differences between Sweden and America. In Anna's view at least, if Sweden is a socialist society, America is an individualistic society where bigger is better and yet where puritanical social morays border on the perverse. What follows is Anna Anderssen's comparisons of a Swedish society she grew up in and the American society she has been living in for about four years while attending college funded by the Swedish government. First and foremost, she would have you know that Sweden is a society where people care about each other.
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D o I feel safer in Sweden than in the U.S.? I would ride my bike home at 2:00 a.m. from my girlfriend's house. When I was thirteen years old I would sometimes go to a club that had a thirteen-year old minimum age for entrance (they didn't serve alcohol there), and I would walk home afterwards through an industrial area. I felt much safer there than in the U.S. Crime is increasing in Sweden, but it is still a much safer place than in the U.S.
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Before returning to her home in Sweden after a one and a half year stint in America, I asked Anna what were her strongest criticisms of Sweden:
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Drug use is very unacceptable in Sweden though drug abuse is larger in Stockholm, especially amongst the entertainment community. Our problem is that Swedish people drink too much: beer, wine, and heavy liquor, especially Absolut Vodka. There is a tradition of eating herring and drinking shots of vodka at Christmas time. Wine often accompanies meals, but not in the same way as you do in America. My parents are connoisseurs, they often spend two- to three-hours preparing a dinner meal and for them choosing the appropriate wine is important. You can't just drink any wine with any food like in America. I began drinking wine with my dinner meals when I was about thirteen, but I wouldn't say that that is common in Sweden. I would say people begin to drink casually, with their parent's permission when they are about fifteen even though the legal age is eighteen. Swedes drink at just about any social event and too much when they do drink. We have three traditional drinking days: Friday, Saturday, and a day somewhere in the middle of the week that varies from town to town. In my town it was on Wednesdays, and in Gothenburg, the second largest city in Sweden, it was Tuesdays.
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We also have a problem with patriotism. We can be patriotic during the Olympics and we have a National Dagen (National Day) every June 6th that compares somewhat to the American July 4th, but I don't even know exactly what the day commemorates. I think it has something to do with a king in Swedish history. That's the way it is for many Swedes, but they are becoming more insecure about the economy and as a result nationalism seems to be on the rise. We had this joke about the Norwegians: "Why are the Norwegians crawling in the supermarket?" "To get low prices." It was just a joke based on a friendly rivalry that Sweden has with Norway. Our economy was stronger than the Norwegian economy for as long as anyone can remember, but now theirs is performing better and ours seems to be declining. There's a lot of social pressure now not to be patriotic because if you are you may be associated with the ultra-nationalists. As a result, Swedish people's views of patriotism seem to be polarized: you're either an ultra-nationalist like the skinheads, or you're not patriotic at all.
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Then, as we were walking down the street with the sounds of the hustle and bustle of the city night-life going on around us, Anna added that Sweden was too quiet. "It's like the countryside, even in the bigger cities."
Anna, who is living with a good friend and her Afro-American boyfriend was perplexed about racial problems in America and described the immigrant situation in Sweden in contrast:
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Finns emigrated across their border into Sweden during difficult economic times. Even lacking the ability to speak Swedish, Finns could work productively in industrial professions and many settled permanently in Sweden. Culturally the Finns were kin of the Swedes. As a result of more recent international strife, refugees from distant lands have been officially invited to immigrate to Sweden, but there the welcome has been less certain in many a Swede's eyes.
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Anna doesn't understand why there is discrimination against Afro-Americans in America. To her it is simply a question of the color of one's skin. The word "blacks" has a different connotation in Sweden than in America, but the result is somewhat similar. In this Scandinavian country, "svarta" ("blacks") refers to refugees from conflicts in such places as Iran, Iraq, Yugoslavia, Argentina, and Somalia. In this case, "blacks" refers to the hair on the head and the eyebrows of these people from Southern Europe, Africa and Latin America. It also connotes peoples of different cultures. Anna believes that the followers of Islam are intrinsically different from Swedes, who are predominantly Protestant worshippers, because they believe in polygamy; and that Latin American immigrants are from a culture where men are extremely dominant and extramarital affairs are common place. Anna goes on to explain that Swedes are also frustrated with the "blacks" because they live segregated from the larger society and don't make a significant effort to learn Swedish which would help them assimilate. |
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Perhaps it is easier, Anna explains, to understand the Swedes way of thinking if you know a little bit more about Swedish society. First, it is important to know that Swedish is the unequivocal master language in Sweden unlike the situation in America where Spanish is no less than a second language. Second, you should also understand that women have a stronger role in Swedish society. It is not unheard of for a mother to earn a wage greater than her husband, in fact Anna's mother has earned more than her father for many years. Extramarital affairs in Sweden, it is at least popularly held, are virtually non-existent. As a result, this strong role of women in Swedish society acts to repel these refugees from different cultures where the women have a much weaker position in society and in the home.
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Most people go through a socialization and acculturation process, where they are taught about the rules of society and the rituals of a culture, when they are growing up from childhood to adulthood. This way the rules are learned in a natural way where you learn as your cohort does (in Sociological terms, a cohort is a group of people who share experiences and affiliations with others based on their age group). When Anna came to America to study she had to learn the rules of American society though unlike children growing up in America, she had something to compare these new rules with.
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My first night in America, I prepared to take a shower by putting on a long t-shirt. The t-shirt went down to a few inches above my knees and was cut slightly higher on the sides. As I walked to the bathroom which was next door to the bedroom, I saw the mother of my host family as she looked at me in horror. In Sweden it is quite natural for people to walk to a bathroom for a shower with only their bra and panties on or nothing at all, so I was being quite modest. We wouldn't think of dressing in the bathroom after a shower. It seems ridiculous, why would you put clothes on when your body is all sticky from the steam of the shower?
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I also couldn't understand why the parents wouldn't let their daughter, who was already fourteen-years old, do as she wanted with her eighteen-year old boyfriend. They would not let her be alone with the boy for a minute. It was only after they had been seeing each other for an entire year that the parents let them go out on a date together. In Sweden it is legal for fifteen-year olds to have sex, and it is not uncommon for them to sleep over at their boyfriend or girlfriend's house in the same bed and do as they like.
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After she resettled in the San Francisco Bay area, Anna worked as a nanny for a family who had a three-year old daughter. Anna would watch as the parents instructed their daughter that there were parts of her body that were private, should be hidden from others, and that she should always wear something over her underwear. Anna felt this was perversely restrictive on the young, innocent girl. Anna also felt that the little girl responded to her parents' lessons in an unhealthy way. The little girl always seemed to try and expose her underwear and would grab for Anna's breasts.
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Anna was quick to point out in Sweden, where sexuality is treated far more openly and respected as something natural, the rates of teenage pregnancy sexually transmitted diseases are far lower than in America.
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What is unique about Swedish family life and relationships outside of the family in comparison to the U.S.?
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Americans are hypocritical. They make friendships very easily, but then end them just as easily. When you see someone on the street they ask you "how are you?" They don't really want to know how you are doing, they just say that. If I've had a bad day I can't say, "I'm feeling terrible" and then go on to explain why. If you did it would be considered rude to take up that person's time so you just lie and say, "fine." Everything is so fast here and nobody has time for anything. Americans eat so fast. In Sweden we have some fast food restaurants but the prices there are much higher than here (just like everything else partially because we had about a 24% food tax last time I was home), so they aren't as popular as they are here. Americans eat such large meals and they eat so fast. Like they're trying to fill their stomach as fast as they can.
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When Americans are introduced to each other the first thing that comes out of their mouth is I go to 'Such and Such University' or 'I work at ABC Corporation.' What someone wears or what they drive is more important than who they are. Americans love to categorize people by earnings, athleticism, and intelligence.
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It doesn't seem to be okay to work at a McDonald's restaurant in the U.S., be a janitor or the like. These are jobs that need to be done. What would you do if there weren't people working in these jobs? There are only 8 million people in Sweden compared with over 265 million in the U.S. Our athletes will never become as rich as your athletes. In fact the economic disparities that exist in the U.S. in general don't exist in Sweden. We don't have so many extremely wealthy people in Sweden that the American middle class seems to aspire to become, nor do we have so many poor people like those that exist in the U.S. It's like there are different castes in the U.S. We don't have a problem with homeless people such as you do in America because we have a highly developed social system that provides for people. Never in my life in Sweden have I been asked for a handout on the street. Such people may exist in the subways of Stockholm, but I've never seen them. The only people you will see sleeping in parks or similar places are alcoholics who have passed out.
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Swedish people are different than Americans, much different. Many people say we are "cold" because don't always say "hi" or "how are you doing?" Our conversations take more time. I don't have to always introduce myself by using the sort of affiliations Americans use or worry about being judged based on my clothes or what sort of car I drive because when we have a conversation the other person can learn something about me from what I have to say. We don't make as many friends as Americans do, but the friendships we have are genuine and endure. When we visit each other, we don't have to call and make an appointment first. I've had friends come over late at night and just ring the bell or knock on the door. I'll get some snacks out for us and we'll do something or just sit and talk. At home in Sweden I know of at least twenty households that are friends of my family's. I could go to them if I needed something and they would do their best to help me without any question.
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Family life is different as I explained earlier when I told you about the families I have lived with in the U.S. My parents both work. After I was born, my mother had about three months off from work and my father had about two months off from work. After that I went to day-care. Being raised this way was fine. Our day-cares are run by mothers who take care of four to eight children at their house. In the U.S. you can't stay at home by yourself before you are thirteen years old or even older sometimes. In Sweden, where most of the mothers work and children stay in day-care, you can't stay at day-care past the summer of the year you turn eleven. I think staying at home after you turn eleven, without or without others helps you become more independent and responsible.
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My relationship with my parents is great. They don't seem as tired after work as Americans do. When they come home, they cook a meal from scratch that may take two to three hours and we spend a lot of time together. We talk about just about everything together and I know my parents well. Their finances are an open book to me and they even talk openly about their marital problems. The one area of secrecy is which political party they are going to vote for.
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Please tell me something about the difference between Swedish and American manners.
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[Both Anna and her boyfriend, Marion, seem to respond to my question in unison as he makes a simple comment and points to her hands, she demonstrates the proper way to eat at a table with a knife and fork. I didn't understand at first and Marion helped explain that all the cutting is done with the knife, never the side of a fork and the knife never leaves her right hand].
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Swedes take off their shoes whenever they enter a house. My mother visited me in the U.S. and she couldn't believe that American homes have carpet everywhere (Swedish homes have hardwood or intricately designed linoleum covered floors) and Americans almost never take off their shoes when in a house.
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This is gross, but women in America squat in public restrooms and spray all over the seat. [Even Marion is shocked, thinking that this is only true of public men's restrooms in the U.S.].
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The worst thing Americans lack is respect for parents. Swedish children never use curse words when talking to their parents, at least I have never heard anyone do so. This is not so in the U.S.
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What sort of things do you like about the United States?
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There are so many things to do in the U.S. I've got my scuba diving certificate here and I'm going to go sky diving next.
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One thing nice about San Francisco in particular is the gay and lesbian lifestyle. It is so different than home and I appreciate it. It's an alternative lifestyle that is out in the open and it isn't degrading. By comparison, Muslims are degrading to women.
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I like the variety of things and the natural diversity found in the U.S. You can go from snow covered mountains to the desert of Death Valley or the Grand Canyon. There is such a variety of movies here and bars. You get a sample of different countries here whether it be an Irish pub, a Mexican restaurant or a Japanese restaurant.
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I also like the fact that anyone can take a chance and start a business here. You can start a business in Sweden too of course it's just that it would be much more difficult.
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How good is public transportation in Sweden?
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You don't need to drive a car in Sweden. Public transportation in San Francisco is good because you can get where ever you want by taking a taxi, bus, streetcar, or BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit, a regional, commuter train system), but it isn't so good other places in the U.S. What would you do in L.A. if you didn't own a car?
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The fares in Sweden are about the same as here, but since everything else is cheaper in the U.S. (I bought three shirts here for $65.00 and they would have cost the equivalent of $165.00 back in Sweden) I guess you could say that the fares are relatively cheaper there.
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Other than the distinctions between American individualism and Swedish socialism and relatively high regard the people show for each other, how are Swedish politics different from American politics?
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In Sweden we vote for one from a group of maybe five different political parties and the party chooses from amongst its own people those who will hold office. As a result we don't have political personalities that exist in the U.S. In Sweden don't have anything like Republican old church values or family values issues, nor do we have divisive debates about abortion or gun control. When my relatives hear about Americans and the environment they laugh, Americans don't do enough to protect their environment. [as a simple example Marion adds a comment about the large recycling bins found in every Swedish neighborhood for white paper, clear and colored glass, etc.]. Our political debates usually center around the economy, specifically unemployment, and political refugees.
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A final thought:
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Everything that exists in the U.S., good and bad, exists in Sweden. It's just a matter of degrees.
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